Last time, I covered the deceptive relationship we have with loneliness and how we can build empathy with others by opening up gradually about our struggles. I also mentioned that any connection that builds over time requires a conversation that goes both ways. Today, I’d like to discuss the perspective of the person on the other side. How can we as listeners cultivate empathy for a more free-flowing, honest conversation? ...
Last time, I covered reflecting as a method for probing yourself on your observations as well as outcomes of your actions, and I talked about using writing as a tool for reflecting productively. I ended with a note on how writing is a way for me to build empathy with myself and other people, and today, I’d like to discuss that further. Particularly when we’re not at our mental best, how do we express ourselves to other people, and how do we retain the ability to connect with others openly with negative thoughts swirling in our heads? ...
Last time, I covered using non-judgmental observations to identify self-directing problems and then building sustainable plans of action. I also mentioned that as we proceed down these paths of action, we must accept that failure is a natural part of the process that allows us to reflect and build a feedback loop. Today, I’d like to discuss my process of reflection: what it is (and what is not), how it works, and a tool I’ve found useful for doing it: writing. ...
Understand (Why?) Last time I wrote that changing the framing of thoughts about myself from judgment (I should…) to observation (I am…) has allowed me to continue the conversation and explore myself deeper without feeling that familiar aftertaste of guilt. Furthermore, sitting with an observation can create an uncomfortable tension, but leaving room for repeated probing can reveal an underlying root problem upon which we can act. The question is: after we observe our thoughts and identify a root problem, how do we turn this to productive actions that will improve our condition? ...
Judgment (I should…) I’ve noticed a feeling of personal disappointment growing in me over the last few years. My name, a visible symbol of identity, is associated strongly with potential1, and every once in a while, a pang of anxiety hits me where I worry that I am squandering it. Too often, I’ll catch myself freely gifting my time to various sources of entertainment and fascination available to me at the push of a button or the flick of a finger. I immediately express this disappointment by chastising myself internally and thinking about habits of my aspirational self: constantly reading and growing, producing things of relevance, and staying connected with everyone. My mind hypothetically yearns for the Type 2 fun that tests your mettle and builds strength, character, and memories. Instead, it bathes itself in the Type 1 fun that tickles receptors and propagates lethargy, reactionism, and dissatisfaction. ...
In my last #MentalHealthMonday post, I talked about prioritizing my physical health in line with the ideal of “a healthy mind in a healthy body”. This resulted in a framework focusing on sleep, morning routine, exercise, and nutrition. It remained then to cultivate that healthy mind. The intuitive way to begin this process was to re-establish what exactly it meant to be me. I noticed that over the last couple of years, I had slowly loosened my grasp on identity until I felt like a shadow of my former self reaching out for any source of reassurance. I sought to combat this with a two-pronged approach: rediscovering who I used to be through self-expression and challenging who I thought I could be through self-discovery. This allowed me to simultaneously build up a sense of confidence through familiar activities while challenging and shaping it through new experiences. ...
After admitting that I suffered from mental illness in January 2017, I began to take stock of my mental health. The natural first step for me was to notice what my day-to-day schedule and environment was like with respect to my physical health. In line with the Greco-Roman ideal of “a healthy mind in a healthy body”, I reasoned that by improving my physical health, I could set myself up for success in improving my mental health. Furthermore, for me, physical health can be measured easily using objective markers whereas mental health seemed to be governed by moods, emotions, and descriptions. ...
My name is Onkur, and I struggle with mental illness, particularly anxiety and depression. This has been happening for about 2.5 years through a series of emotionally traumatic incidents at regular intervals, and I’ve noticed a slow but marked change in myself from sad to alarmed to resigned. I used to consider myself an energetic, positive, and infectious individual, but now the words that come to mind are lethargic, brooding, and lonely. The sad clown archetype resonates strongly with me. ...